fear
FEAR
I met you a pretty long time ago
Then you just grew on me
Now to your hugs and kisses
I can’t say no
Every time I open my eyes
I wish I was beside you
& it really makes me feel
That I’m falling for you
Yet you don’t want to be with me
You say it’s because of fear
Every time I think about it
I could practically tear
So I guess the final say
Will just depend on you
But pls. be careful coz
You might be turning your back, on a love so true
I met you a pretty long time ago
Then you just grew on me
Now to your hugs and kisses
I can’t say no
Every time I open my eyes
I wish I was beside you
& it really makes me feel
That I’m falling for you
Yet you don’t want to be with me
You say it’s because of fear
Every time I think about it
I could practically tear
So I guess the final say
Will just depend on you
But pls. be careful coz
You might be turning your back, on a love so true
posted by luckym at 3:05 AM
4 Comments:
wow, luis! i bet you could write a BIG hit for the backstreet boys. kinda reminds me of:
you are my fire
the one desire ....
rock on!
anyway, this is the daydreamer... u (luis) may get to read this or not but i dont really give a damn... saw a tag that this entry was "nice"... kinda made me curious so i read it... looks like u really write... contrary to the rumors spreading around...
Bloghopping here.
Luis,
I read thru two of your poems.
It seems you feel mostly pain, the thing is, when it comes to writing (which is a lot like acting), you must be able to let the readers feel your pain. That is perhaps the reason why love and pain/suffering are so easy to write about.
You see, when you write, there is a very good chance that you will be remembered by your works, and you must be able to leave something behind to be able to make an impression on the person who reads this. You must let a little bit of you slide into the writing, otherwise all that is left is a jumble of words and rhymes that leaves no emotions at all, and even worse, nothing of you.
Well, at least what most of the writers do, in my opinion.
Good luck on your next poem, and your next girl.
Merry Christmas!
hey. i'm sure everyone here adores you boy and is probably the reason why it's hard to give some constructive criticism for fear of hurting you... but someone has got to say it... sorry to burst your bubble, your *aherm* 'poetry' sucks big time... i've nothing personal against you and this is your blog so you have every right to say whatever you want but i would still like to tell you anyway, it really sucks and you can certainly improve it, i'm sure. think imagery. profundity. subtlety. cheers!
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